Books & Publications
Books can create a gentle way into conversations that may otherwise feel impossible to begin. Writing and illustrating have always been an important creative part of my life, and these projects grew from a desire to help parents, caregivers, therapists, and other helping professionals support children through experiences that can be difficult to explain. I created both projects with a colleague and close friend, Jillian Kelly-Wavering, LCSW, RPT-S , with the hope of offering thoughtful tools for moments when words can be hard to find.
My Grief Is Like the Ocean: A story for children who lost a parent to suicide
Written by Jessica Biles, LCSW-R, RPT & Jillian Kelly-Wavering, LCSW, RPT-S
Illustrated by Jessica Biles
My Grief Is Like the Ocean is a children’s book designed to help young people make sense of grief after the death of a parent by suicide. Through simple language and gentle illustrations, it gives children a way to understand changing emotions, ask difficult questions, and feel less alone in an experience that can be hard to explain.
“This is the one book all parents and clinicians need to have in their personal library. Adults now have a tool to help children navigate the difficult emotions of abandonment, betrayal, rage, and anger that often bubble up after a suicide of a loved one, but are often suppressed and left unspoken.”
-Athena A. Drewes, PsyD, RPT-S founder and president emeritus, New York Association of Play Therapy, former director of the Association of Play Therapy
“This book is important and much needed, since the death of a parent by suicide is one of the most complicated and devastating forms of childhood grief. I found the book to be brilliant and written with the foundation of great sensitivity and compassion. I also loved the eloquent use of metaphors throughout. High recommend.”
-David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D, ABPP
“My Grief is Like the Ocean tackles the seldom discussed, emotionally wrenching and very difficult concept of suicide in a way that children can understand … delicately using the metaphor of the ocean to describe how it’s shifting waves mirror the boy’s feelings. The explanations are concise. The opportunity for a child to acknowledge their feelings is boundless.”
-Laurie Zellinger, Ph.D., ABPP, RPT-S, author of Please Explain Anxiety to Me
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This is a helpful book to help children understand and cope with the many feelings associated with suicide death. It addresses important issues including depression, anger, guilt, worry, and bullying. The ocean metaphor helps children to understand the ups and Dows of grief. This is a helpful resource for parents and mental health professionals to read with children.”
-Liana Lowenstein, Author, Speaker, Child Psychotherapist
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I am personally so grateful that this book is in existence. As a former teacher and current social-emotional learning director, this book is one that I keep on my office bookshelf and share with families in times of need and grief. Parents have shared that they have gained solace and understanding from the ocean/wave metaphor that the authors share to help us conceptualize grief. I believe this book will help children build the emotional vocabulary and develop social-emotional strategies necessary to process something as huge and difficult as parent suicide. Thank you to the authors and sending love to families everywhere experiencing grief.
-Maeve, Social-emotional learning director & formed teacher
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“As teachers, we often wear many hats. Sometimes the role feels like being a guidance counselor, social worker, mentor, guardian, and tutor all rolled into one. That's why I'm relieved to be able to add this book to my toolkit. Every teacher that's been at it long enough knows that when you work with the public, sooner or later there comes a time when you will need to process a tragedy with your students. As unfortunate as it is, I recently found myself in the position of working with a young student who was coping with a suicide in the immediate family. Now I can recommend this book to anyone going through such a difficult time. It feels good to be able to take a positive step under such circumstances. Even the smallest act to help ease their suffering is worth it. If you know anyone going through this, you might even consider sending the book to them anonymously.”
-SV, Teacher
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"...our hearts can carry many feelings at once." Normalizing and sharing human emotions and experiences allows a person to feel they are experiencing loss in a way that is true for them and lets them know they are not alone. In the book, My Grief is Like the Ocean", Biles and Kelly-Wavering give voice to the grief process: the ups and downs, the emotions, the reactions of others, and so much more. This book is so important to have on your bibliotherapy shelf or in your home if you've been touched by parental suicide.
-Jessica Stone, PhD, RPT-S
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“An amazing resource for families as well as for all healthcare disciplines. Very well done! Must read.”
-Caryn Stapler, RN, MBA, CCM
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Fantastic guide for communicating with kids about suicide. Talking to children about suicide can be extremely challenging for adults. Many times, people are unsure what to say and how to respond to difficult questions. This book provides developmentally appropriate explanations and support in an open and honest manner.”
-Dr. Rachel Altvater, PhD
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This short, beautifully illustrated book may help the parent of children whose Dad or Mom, or possibly another member of the family who have committed suicide. It is hard enough for an adult to get over this--much less understand why it happened. It is so much harder for a child.
This short story can be read to the child to get their feeling out. They may be feeling guilt-thinking they did something wrong that caused the loved one to end their life. Discussing the feelings, along with possible psychological help will allow the child to overcome these feelings.
There are plenty of references that can be accessed as well. If you and your child have experienced the suicide of a loved one--you should really read this book.”
-MikiHope
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“…Jessica and Jillian found the perfect words to shed light on a highly emotional subject in an equally respectful and hopeful manner. Highly recommend!”
-Genevieve V.T
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Invaluable resource! Beautifully written. Translates such a complex issue into a meaningful story for kids. Highly recommend!:
-Sarah
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Highly recommend!! This book is an incredible resource for families and all healthcare professionals!”
-Jennifer
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This was clearly written by top tier, empathetic professionals with a deep understanding of human connection and communication. It deftly touches the heart and teaches us all. I tip my hat to the authors. Excellent and important work.”
-Amazon customer
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Brilliant, thoughtful resource! For any child who’s suffered a loss due to suicide. Beautifully written, with clinical wisdom throughout. Highly recommended.”
-Tony
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Thank you for writing this invaluable resource in a kid friendly format. Five stars.”
-Caitlin K Schuyler
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Grief is such a hard thing to battle through at any age, so I can't imagine how difficult it must be for a child to comprehend, especially losing someone to suicide. This supportive book is beautifully illustrated and works as a gentle tool for carer and child to openly discuss the heartbreaking events and their feelings to each other as it follows the little boy's emotional journey after losing his dad to suicide.
The authors deal with this in a delicate way and the child describes their feelings similar to a storm and an ocean which other children will no doubt be able to understand. The authors also touch on depression, conflicting feelings during the child's stages of grief, counselling help, school, and eventually happy times. Without giving spoilers I loved how the little boy created ways to be closer to his dad…”
-Beckvalleybooks
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Firstly this is a beautifully illustrated book and the story is a sensitive and emotional read and as adult has a hard enough time coming to terms with suicide so I can only imagine the immense feeling a child would have regarding hearing a loved one has passed due to suicide, that is where this book comes in. This book helps to normalise and validate the feelings that a child may feel after a loss due to suicide and I loved the illustrations being reflective of the ocean to explain how the variety of emotions they may feel coming in waves.
This is a good book to have on hand for caregivers, not only just for children but for adults as well who will also be dealing with their own waves of emotion…”
-Fee
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“This was sent as a gift to a friend who said “I don’t know how to tell my child.”
It doesn’t have a big-budget feel, but starts the conversation and helps to explain the unexplainable.
I’m grateful to the authors and publishers for creating this niche material.”
-Kiki
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Passionately written and illustrated. The call out to caregiver resources creates a unique experience every time you read it. I hope this reaches the homes of everyone experiencing this grief.”
-Bethany
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Highly recommend - this book is a really important resource for children and adults who have lost a loved one to suicide….It is thoughtfully written, and eloquently yet simply walks children through the experiences and feelings they may have while grieving.”
-Megan Kelly
The Bibliotherapy Toolbox: 100+ creative and playful story-based interventions to help kids create safety, overcome challenges, and build resilience
Chapter co-author: “My Grief Is Like the Ocean Mantra”
The Bibliotherapy Toolbox is a professional resource that brings together more than 100 story-based interventions combining bibliotherapy and play therapy. Our chapter, “My Grief Is Like the Ocean Mantra,” focuses on grief and loss and offers a practical intervention therapists can use with children to help them express difficult emotions, make meaning of their experience, and begin conversations about loss.